On Fairness

Life isn't fair. Sometimes that works for me, sometimes it works against me. But I'm guessing/hoping it all balances out in the end.

The Lost Cause

I don't believe in lost causes. I refuse to accept that any cause can be a lost cause. I'm hopeful that everything has a solution. That everything can be fixed. If you believe in something enough, you can make a difference. It might be a small difference, but you can make a difference.

By definition, a lost cause is a cause with no chance of success. No chance of success? That's sad. That's tragically sad. It's sad because when you deem something a lost cause, it means you've given up on the idea of success. 

Working toward a goal is challenging. It takes determination. It takes focus. It takes sacrifice. But if it's something you believe in, something you honestly believe in, then it's worth it. Sometimes it'd be easier to give up. But when you are that passionate about something, you can't turn your back on it. If you could, you'd be turning your back on yourself. And we aren't wired to do that. 

My other issue with the lost cause is when it's applied to people. People aren't causes. They're people. And all any of us are doing is trying to find our way. And that isn't a cause, it's life. 

We're supposed to help each other through life. We're supposed to be there for each other. Support each other. Guide each other. Love each other. We're not supposed to judge each other. We're not supposed to decide who's worthy of the effort and who's not. We're all in this together. We're all doing our best. And none of us are causes, let alone lost causes. 

I don't believe in the idea of the lost cause. Maybe that's naive. Maybe it makes me an idiot. I don't care. Because I'd rather be hopeful that my hard work and passion will pay off. I'd rather be hopeful that I can make a difference.

No cause is a lost cause. And no person is either. 

Bring It

When life feels like a rollercoaster, you may as well try to enjoy the ride. 

This sentiment was the point of my weekend excursion to Cedar Point. Life has been full of ups and downs lately and I was looking for a little perspective and a lot of fun. And here's what I got: 

26 hours of music therapy on the open road. 8 hours of rollercoaster therapy at Cedar Point. And an unexpected 5 minutes of complete clarity after a wrong turn.

Needless-to-say, I'm feeling pretty good right now. And I'm pretty proud of myself too. For a last minute weekend excursion, this one will go down in the books as one of the most empowering. And not just because I conquered the Top Thrill Dragster.

It launches you from 0-120mph in less than 4 seconds. Launches you 420 feet straight up. Which means you fall 420 feet straight down. And if you know me, you know I'm terrified of heights. TERRIFIED. But I couldn't pass up the challenge. So I did it. And I loved it. And I figure if I can handle this, then I can handle the rollercoaster ride that is my life. So bring it. 

My Apologies

Dear Universe, 

I'm sorry for doubting you lately. I didn't trust you and I should have. I realize now that you know what you're doing. Granted, you had to hit me over the head, repeatedly, for me to understand it all. 

Anyway, I like the game plan. I really do. And I'm on board. But I'm going to need a little more time to get ready. I need to get everything sorted out in my head first. But you're right. Probably about all of it. So thanks. 

With love, 

Jess

Horror Movie Motel

So my best friend and I are on our spontaneous road trip adventure. Around 3AM this morning, we decide it's time to stop for some sleep. We pulled off of 70 and strait into a horror movie. Seriously. Indiana is a frightening place.

You might be staying in a horror movie motel when...

• You drive by the motel and make a joke about how you're glad you're not staying there, before you realize you're staying there.
• There's a creepy old Indian man at the front desk who directs you to a motel room two parking lots away (after telling you there's no rooms available).
• The light switch by the door doesn't turn on any lights.
• The toilet randomly flushed every 60 seconds.
• You feel dirtier AFTER you shower.
• You sleep ON TOP of all the bedding.
• The bed shakes. On it's own. 
• The thought of bed bugs make you sleep fully clothed with pants tucked into your socks and your hoodie pulled over your head.
• The bathroom fixtures are either broken or missing completely. 
• You choose to sleep with one of the two working lights turned on. 
• You strategically place a chair in front of the door, even though you know it won't stop anyone from coming in. 
• You check the windows to make sure they're locked.
• You consider NOT brushing your teeth because you're scared of the water quality.
• You make sure your bare feet and pant legs never touch the floor.
• You set your alarm for four hours of sleep. More sleep than that isn't worth your life.
• You randomly get up and make sure your car is still parked outside.
• You'd rather dry your face with kleenex than the towel provided.
• Randomly throughout your stay, you hear what sounds like someone trying to open the door.
• The bathroom towels were more grey than white.
• As you lay down you comment that you're calling the Better Business Bureau first thing in the morning. 
• You are crying real tears from laughing so hard. But you're laughing only to keep from crying. 

Thankfully, we made it out alive.

Rollercoasters

My life has been an emotional rollercoaster ride recently. And in honor of that, I decided I'm making the 13-hour drive to Cedar Point this weekend with my best friend. I love spontaneous trips. Spontaneous symbolic trips. See y'all Monday!

Oh the Irony

I'm noticing a lot of irony in my life right now. It's good that I see the irony, otherwise I'd probably be handling everything a lot worse.

Irony #1:
My jaw is in excruciating pain. And when I'm in pain, I have a tendency to clinch my jaw and grind my teeth.

Irony #2:
The side project that makes my soul happy also happens to be the one that breaks my heart. 

Irony #3:
The second I decide I'm happy living in KC, I realize I may be forced to move elsewhere. 

Irony #4:
I'm not the happiest person these days (see above ironies), yet two different people today told me that I smile non-stop. 

Seeing the irony makes a lot of it laughable. Of course, my jaw hurts so bad right now that laughing is a little painful. There's irony in that too.

Words of Faux Wisdom

On Authenticity
If you're going for a hand-drawn look, hand draw it. 

On Looking the Part
If you fake it long enough, you'll eventually accept it as real.

On Failing
Everyone fails. The key is learning to fail gracefully.

On Optimism
The Universe needs balance so therefore can't be against you forever. 

On Uncertainty
Despite childhood memories, living in limbo isn't as fun as it sounds. 

Detox

Detox starts tomorrow. Time to get back on track. Wish me luck because I will definitely need it.

Cause and Effect

I went to a wedding last weekend where we all rang miniature bells as the newlyweds left the church. It was nice, you know minus all the "every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings" comments. Those got old REAL quick. So I'm giving you people options for the next time a situation comes up that might require a similar line.

Every time a bell rings, a little annoyance it brings.
Every time a bell rings, queens curse their kings.
Every time a bell rings, a driver is mocked for their stupid window clings.
Every time a bell rings, a woman regrets all her past flings.
Every time a bell rings, someone eats their plate of lings.
Every time a bell rings, a descendant pays homage to the Mings.
Every time a bell rings, on a Blackberry a friend pings.
Every time a bell rings, a washed-up actor tries and sings.
Every time a bell rings, an employee-to-boss insult slings.
Every time a bell rings, hope and happiness springs.
Every time a bell rings, upon an unsuspecting person a hornet stings.
Every time a bell rings, a guitarist breaks their strings.
Every time a bell rings, a bored adult searches for a playground with swings.
Every time a bell rings, shit happens along with other things.
Every time a bell rings, two Missourians dream of Colorado Springs.

So there you have it, bells ringing cause a lot of other things to happen.

On Facebook

I'm not ashamed to admit that I have a Facebook addiction. It's how I keep tabs on people. It's how I stay in touch with people. It's also how I keep people in the know of my all-important life happenings (HA). But some things about Facebook annoy the crap out of me. So I'm making some rules. And I might start blocking the people who don't follow them. Because seriously, enough is enough. 

1. I do not care how you do on random quizzes. I don't care about your virtual farm. I don't care about any of the games you play. I'm friends with you on Facebook because (for the most part) I care about how you're doing and I want to know what you're up to. So go into application preferences and shut off all those ridiculous notifications. 

2. Don't "like" every status update. Don't comment on every post. It makes you look needy. And after so many "likes" it stops feeling genuine. Don't be a Facebook vulture. 

3. Don't synch Facebook and Twitter. There's a pretty good chance I already follow you on Twitter. And if I don't, there's probably a reason.

4. Friend counts are dumb. You don't get a prize for having the most friends. I actually think it makes you look a little pathetic. I know you aren't really friends with all those people. So stop friending people just to friend them. 

5. If we don't live in the same state, then please stop inviting me to your events. I would love to come (maybe), but I'm not jumping on a plane for your birthday party/concert/benefit dinner. Besides, knowing I can't come to the awesomeness makes me miss you. I'd rather just assume no awesomeness happens unless I'm there. 

I'm sure I'm missing some very important rules, so look for addendum later. But this seems like a good starting point.