On Bathroom Etiquette

There should be a standard set of rules for bathrooms. Common sense rules. Things that shouldn't have to be written out. But clearly I'm writing for a reason. Clearly bathroom etiquette is being neglected.

1. Bathrooms need music. We don't need to hear coworkers going about their business.

2. Bathrooms are cell phone free zones. Not only do I not need to know you're talking to someone while sitting on the toilet, but I'm pretty sure the person on the other end of the line wouldn't want to know that either.

3. Always wash your hands. We all know who does and who doesn't.

4. Don't try and have conversations with other people in other stalls. It's awkward. And I'm pretty sure the conversation can wait a few minutes.

And a late contribution from @libbyhall22:

5. Never head to the bathroom when the co-worker nearest you might already be there. When in doubt, wait it out.

On When Not to Drink

Sometimes drinking seems like a good answer. It probably rarely is. Let's ignore that for now. But there are definitely some times when drinking is NOT the answer.

Drinking is not the answer when the question is...

Do we need to stop for gas?
Aren't you pregnant?
Do I have cirrhosis or the liver?
License and registration?
Will pain meds make me loopy?
How many hours until this very important deadline?
When is my flight instructor test?
How do I drive a stick again?
Is this a fake ID?
Doctor, are you ready for brain surgery?
Can I get directions to the nearest church?
What time are you heading over for family dinner?

And my personal favorite...

What time is the AA meeting?

On Real Thoughts from a Faux Expert

This blog is changing. It's less about advertising and more about life. The reason for this change is simple: my focus has shifted. I used to live to work. I mean, I loved advertising. I lived advertising. I was a junkie. Now, I still love my job. Really. It's just now I work to live. I can't think of a more exciting way to pay the bills than to have a job in advertising. I can't think of more challenging way to accumulate travel funds than to concept on ads all day. And I can't think of a more creative way to contribute my part to capitalism. Really.

So the blog will be more about my thoughts on life. But for all you ad nerds out there, a big chunk of my life consists of working. In advertising. So you'll still get your fix.

On Learning from Friends

I believe that everything happens for a reason and that everyone has something to teach. Some lessons are good. Some are bad. But everyone you meet has some role in your life, no matter how big or small.

I have my top seven teachers. They're also my closest friends. They're the ones who inspire me. They're the seven who know me best. They're the people who have made me, well, me. So love them. And thank them. I'm pretty awesome because of them.

Jennifer the Artist

Brilliant and creative, my sister lives life in her own unique way. She creates. She inspires. And no one can make me laugh quite like she does. Whether it's through her art, music, friendship or laughter, she uses her talents to help others. And she makes me want to do the same. 

Sarah the Helper

There isn't anything my little sister wouldn't do to make the people she loves happy. Nothing. And lucky for the world, she has a lot of love for a lot of people. She wants to save the world with her love. And if anyone can do it, she can. She's a constant reminder of the power of loving others. 

Diana the Thinker

For over fifteen years, she's been pushing me to think about the world around me. About religion. About politics. About relationships. About life. She doesn't accept things as true without an internal debate of logic and reason. And whether she realizes it or not, she has always guided me to do the same. 

Marcus the Musician

He's more heart than talent. And this guy oozes talent. But it's his heart that drives his music. It's his heart that fuels his dreams. It's his heart that inspires hope. And it's his heart that is slowly teaching me to listen to mine. 

Perry the Wavelength

My wavelength. My soulmate. The person who, even a thousand miles away, reminds me that I'm never alone. He's the one who always knows what I'm thinking. He's the one who always gets what I'm feeling. He's the one who always understands. He's my other half. 

Jordan the Enthusiast

He loves people. And animals. And nature. He lives life knowing that everything has its place. That the world is bigger than his immediate surroundings. He knows that we're all in this together and that the choices we make effect more than just ourselves. He sees the big picture and wants everyone else to see it as well. 

Dan the Ego

It's not cockiness, but confidence. He's one of those people who says what he wants, does what he desires and doesn't really give a damn what others may think. He knows his strengths and isn't afraid to play them up. And that confidence is contagious. It's contagious because he'll play up your strengths until you see them too. 

There are a lot of other people who have taught me along the way. But these seven, well their lessons live with me each and every day. And I love them for it. 

On My Least Favorite Word

Fuck. 

No, that's not my least favorite word. But it is the response my least favorite word evokes in me. Because there's a word out there that no matter what, says something bad is coming. What's worse, it says that what was previously said was a lie. A lie to lighten the blow. A lie to make everyone feel good before they feel bad. It's a painful word to hear, and lucky for us, we get the hear it all the time.

"I love this concept BUT can you please make all these changes?"
"Awesome BUT let's see what you can do with a little more time."
"I agree BUT I still think we have to do it this way."
And my personal hell these days, "Yes BUT not right now."

That one word negates the sentiment that came before it. It's the cowardly way of being honest. Because you're hiding your honesty behind a compliment. Behind hope.

Next time, just say what needs to be said. Be honest. Don't complicate things.

Make these changes. 
Let's see what you can do with more time. 
I think we have to do it this way.
No.

We all want to believe the good. We want to focus on the compliment. We want to embrace the hope. Because it's easier to accept that then the truth that follows. And that's where things get complicated. And that's why I hate the word.

On the Beauty of Words

I love art. And I love quotes. So put the two together and I'm in heaven. Seriously.

Below is a collection of other people's, for lack of a better term, quote art that I'm really digging today. It's like someone is taking the thoughts inside my head and making them beautiful, no matter how sad they may seem. There's beauty. And there's comfort. Comfort in knowing that someone else out there is thinking the same thing. And I'm finding beauty and empowerment in their similar experiences. It reminds me that we really are all in this together, no matter how alone we may feel.

On Small Budgets

Sometimes small budgets (or in this case, no budget) can inspire a creative solution. And sometimes my craftiness amazes even myself. That is all. 

On Football

I love football season. Love it. And I'm a Chiefs fan, which sometimes makes it hard to love football. But not last night. Last night my boys made me proud. Last night the stadium was magical. Last night was the epitome of why I love football so much. Because loving football isn't just about the sport. It's about the camaraderie. It's about the fans.

It's having nothing besides fandom in common,

and yet during game time you're best friends.

It's having a beer with people you've never met before

and you'll probably never see again. 

It's 70,000 people in a stadium all cheering for the same thing. 

It's not being alone in your

pride/frustration/disappointment/happiness/hope.

It's random high-fives with strangers. 

It's win or lose, knowing thousands of other people

are feeling what you're feeling. 

It's realizing it's possible to put aside your differences

and coexist peacefully. 

It's why I love football season so much. Because for those three hours on game day, nothing else matters. And that's awesome. 

On Expectations

I believe people are inherently good. I believe everyone has talent and expertise in something. And I believe we exist for each other, that we're all in this together.

And because of this, I expect greatness from everyone. I expect kindness and selflessness and passion. I expect common courtesy. I expect honesty and goodwill. I expect a lot.

I clearly have incredibly high expectations. For myself. For friends. For colleagues. For pretty much everyone. Expectations that are probably too high. Expectations that are probably not very realistic. That even I fail to live up to.

So I'm legitimately asking here, how do I go about lowering my expectations?

Because I feel I'm being unfair to a lot of people for expecting so much from them. All anyone can do is their best. And not everyone's best is the same. And I don't want to be disappointed by that.

On Control

I have control issues. Like bad. To the point where I can't be a passenger in a car without getting crazy anxious. Now, I don't consider myself a control freak. I just find comfort in knowing I'm in control of my own life.

This past month has been crazy. Things haven't been going my way. And the worse things got, the harder I fought to try and control all the various situations. Then I broke. I couldn't deal with the stress anymore. I couldn't deal with the insomnia. I couldn't deal with the uncertainty.

To keep my sanity, I had to (very, very quickly) learn to accept that I didn't have control over any of it. I don't have control over clients. I don't have control over office politics. I don't have control over decisions my friends make. I don't have control over what people think, feel or say. I. Don't. Have. Control.

So I shifted my focus. Because I do have control of my thoughts. My actions. My decisions. That decision to focus only on those things I can actually control, well that decision took me from miserable to excited in less than 24 hours. No joke.

Because I can't control client feedback. But I can control what I choose to do with it.
I can't control office politics. But I can control the role I play in them. 
I can't control decisions friends make. I can control how those decisions effect me. 
I can't control what people think, feel or say. I can control what I think, feel and say.

The lesson here is really just a reminder. You only have control over yourself. It's an empowering lesson. It's a freeing lesson. And it's a lesson I'll probably need a refresher course in again and again.

On the Power of Words

I believe in the power of words. It's probably why I'm such a music junkie. Or more specifically, a lyric junkie. Because no matter my mood, there's a song out there that speaks to me. I spent a couple hours a few nights ago carefully crafting the perfect playlist for what I need right now. Below are the words that made the cut. There's empowerment, there's sadness. There's wisdom and there's hope. Enjoy.


"I realize now I deserve so much more than what you give. Than what you give. I look so good without you. Got me a new hairdo. Looking fresh and brand new. Since you said that we were through." Jessie James, I Look so Good (Without You)

"Let's dance to joy division and celebrate the irony. Everything is going wrong, but we're so happy." The Wombats, Let's Dance the Joy Division

"How does it feel to realize you're all alone behind your eyes? It seems to me if you can't trust, you can't be trusted." Ben Folds, Trusted

"Everything's a stress and what's more, well it's all somebody's fault. Get over it." Ok Go, Get Over It

"It's me that ought to be moving on. You're not adorable. I was something unignorable." The Ting Tings, Shut Up and Let Me Go

"You had my heart, now I want it back. I'm starting to see everything you lack. You blew it, you put me through it, I want to undo it." Carrie Underwood, Undo It

"I'm starving for words that would ration my sadness away." Ludo, Drunken Lament

"Oh and I made my own bed. I lie in it. You lie in yours. You lie, you lie, in yours." Ben Folds, The Bitch Went Nuts

"I'm medicine and I am poison. I can help you up or make you fall. You had some of the best times you'll never remember with me. Alcohol." Brad Paisley, Alcohol

"Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now." B.o.B featuring Hayley Williams, Airplanes

"Just because I'm hurting doesn't mean I'm hurt. Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve. No better and no worse. I just got lost." Coldplay, Lost

"Cause I don't care if I ever talk to you again. This is not about emotion. I don't need a reason not to care what you say or what happened in the end. This is my interpretation, and it don't, don't make sense." MIKA, My Interpretation

"I never knew you, you never knew me. Say hello goodbye. Say hello and wave goodbye." David Gray, Say Hello Wave Goodbye

"Well I'm not one to sit and spin, cause living well is the best revenge." R.E.M., Living Well is the Best Revenge

"I wipe the slate clean. I kick the daydream and remain independently happy." Blue October, Independently Happy

"You can sound the alarm. You can call out your guards. You can fence in your yard. You can pull all the cards. But I wont back down." Eminem, Won't Back Down

"Don't look back in anger, I heard you say. At least not today." Oasis, Don't Look Back in Anger

"Guarantee I'll be the greatest thing you ever had. Cause you ain't never met nobody like me." Eminem, So Bad

"No matter what you'll never take that from me. My reign is as far as your eyes can see. It's amazing." Kayne West, Amazing

"This is the way you left me. I'm not pretending. No hope, no love, no glory. No happy ending." MIKA, Happy Ending

"You may be right. I may be crazy. But it just might be a lunatic you're looking for." Billy Joel, You May Be Right

"Cause all I ask for is instant pleasure." Rufus Wainwright, Instant Pleasure

"Ask a scientist, it's quantum physics. We're all in this together. And on the subway, we feel like strangers. But were all in this together. Yeah I love you and you love her and she loves him, but were all in this together." Ben Lee, We're All in This Together

"What I want from this, is learn to let go." Damien Rice, Rootless Tree

"I wanna feel a car crash, 'cause I'm dying on the inside. I wanna let go and know that I'll be alright." Matt Nathanson, Car Crash

"If you think you need to go. If you wanted to be free. There's just one thing you need to know. And that's that you can't count on me." Counting Crows, You Can't Count on Me

"It's alright 'cause there's beauty in the breakdown." Frou Frou, Let Go

"I need some sleep. It can't go on like this. I tried counting sheep, but there's one I always miss." Eels, I Need Some Sleep

"Excuse me please one more drink. Could you make it strong cause I don’t need to think." DMB, Grace is Gone

"No I'll stand my ground, won't be turned around. And I'll keep this world from draggin me down. Gonna stand my ground and I won't back down." Tom Petty, I Won't Back Down

"I wanna celebrate and live my life." Taio Cruz, Dynamite

"I pray all your dreams never come true. Just know wherever you are, near or far, in your house or in your car. Wherever you are, I pray for you." Jaron and the Long Road to Love, I Pray for You

"And that's what you get when you let your heart win." Paramore, That's What You Get

"Sometimes in my tears I drown, but I never let it get me down. So when negativity surrounds, I know some day it'll all turn around." Matisyahu, One Day

"You write such pretty words, but life's no storybook. Love's an excuse to get hurt and to hurt." Bright Eyes, Lover I Don't Have to Love

"Nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be this hard." Coldplay, The Scientist

"Always fighting what we’re feeling. Hurt instead of healing. After all, we’re only human." Jon Mclaughlin, Human